It has been quite a while since I last wrote. I haven’t been sure what to write, still not sure, but I’ll start. The picture that Danae Lukis painted of Diane and I hangs above Diane’s piano. I look at the picture and say, “Diane I miss you,” and I do. So many things happen that I want to tell Diane and then I remember again that she is not here.
Oh, I know there are those who say she is present, that her spirit will always be with me. There are those who say to me “Tell her, speak to her.” The fact is, she is not here. The house is quiet, the bed is empty, there is no one next to me when I drive. That is the reality of it and I know that. I accept that, and I also know that God is not done with me yet. I do not know what is in store, but something is.
I do not run from my feelings of loneliness. I do not run from those times that I miss Diane tremendously. They are all part of life right now and to be experienced and lived. How God will use all that I am now experiencing I do not know, but God will.
A number of years ago I realized that I and at that time, we, needed in our life: a firm trust in God that he would provide no matter what the economics of the day might indicate; a life lived simply without all the “stuff” that the media says we need. These two things Diane and I cultivated within our life, especially as we were called to be missionaries with World Mission Prayer League. The third thing that I knew we needed was a community, a community of people surrounding us to help us weather any storm that might come our way. This last important item I was not sure we had since leaving my last congregation, but I now know that Grace Lutheran has become such a community for me. The support, the love, the hugs and the prayers of people have so, so significant for me in these days and weeks and months. Thank you. Thank you so very much!