Diane is no longer here. That is, Diane’s ashes are no longer here. Today was the last of two events in two very different locations during which Diane’s ashes were spread upon the ground. “The Cabin:” a favorite spot for the Mowery family on the Gallatin River just north of Big Sky, MT is the final resting spot for half of her ashes. Andrew, Peter, Paulie and I were the only ones present at this, very personal, and also very difficult “saying good by.” I did not realize it would be so hard to let go of the ashes, to let go of Diane, but the “letting go process” had begun so long ago and I guess it will also continue into the future.
Then today at the Immanuel Lutheran Church Cemetery near Nugents Corner in Whatcom County, WA the remainder of her ashes were placed around a favorite tree planted a number of years ago in memory of a young man named Kevin Anderson, whose funeral I had officiated at. Now, not only my hand turned white from the ashes, and not only immediate family member’s hands turned white but many others also participated in the distribution of the ashes, many others whose lives had been touched by Diane’s love and compassion.
Now all the family and friends have left, now the worship services and the celebrations of life have ended, and Diane’s dog Hannah (now she has to claim me as her ‘owner) and I enter a quiet house and begin to understand what it means to live alone. We seek to rest in the assurance and the promise that God is present and has more in store for me (and Hannah also) than we can imagine. It is hard to face the future, but as I was reading this morning in my quiet time, I do not have to face the future, but to experience today, this moment as God’s gift to me. So I live NOW, TODAY and believe that tomorrow will be another day in God’s grace and mercy and newness.